Good News

I've been feeling sooo exhausted in the last week and again, I've got a cold. Just got rid of one! My husband has been saying that I'm probably pregnant. Well, I did pregnancy test this morning and...

...IT'S POSITIVE!!!!

Had my bloods done and to repeat them on Monday just to see how my hormone levels are doing and whether I'll be needing progesterone pessary or something (how nice).

I'm happy but try not to get myself excited over it. It's a really, really long way until the end of 40 weeks. After 2 miscarriages, I just feel I'll never have the day, that I'm holding my own child in my arms...

Iffy hopes

I've been feeling sick since last night. Not vomiting but just feeling "iffy" + really hungry. I've got funny twinges in my lower stomach and my breast feel bit tender. Probably just bad PMS. Even if I wish it would be something else. Pregnancy test is negative but then again, it would be too early to have a positive one.

49

My progesterone levels were 1 last Thursday. On Monday, it was 4 and yesterday finally over 30 (49), which means I've ovulated. It's another matter whether we've managed to conceive. I'm bit more optimistic about it all now that I've at least ovulated.

Feeling low. What a surprise.

I'm really bummed. I had my progesterone levels done on Wednesday (day 20) and it was 1. Nurse told me to have my bloods done again today and the result is 5. Obviously I haven't ovulated as it should be more than 30. I had the "egg-white" mucous (sorry if too much information) on weekend, so maybe I've ovulated then and the progesterone levels haven't risen yet. I have to have my bloods done now every 5 days until I get my periods. Great. Like I love having my bloods taken.

I feel quite low. I hate this waiting. It's like there's nothing I can do to speed things up. Do I want to have baby this much that I have to go through shit all the time? Seems like it.

Hope gone

I just realised that I really haven't got any hope what so ever that I will ever have a child. I might get pregnant but it is just waiting for another miscarriage. Please, someone somewhere above. Prove me wrong.

Pains are a pain

These stomach pains are just unbelievable. Today's been really bad. I think there something seriously wrong. Constant ache right in middle of my lower stomach. I've been having a cough since last week and it still continues. When ever I'm coughing, the pain gets almost unbearable. Don't wanna take any painkillers, in case this pain would be result of something good... any way. Shitty situation.

My boobs are aching a little bit. Nipple really burning. I couldn't eat my supper, cause it made me feel sick. Just don't fancy hot food. Then again, it's nothing too new. I've on and off food for almost a year now.

Had my bloods done today to see whether I've ovulated. Probably my luck, I haven't. Everyone says not to give up hope and stay positive. Bloody so much easier said than done.

Hopes

I've got really annoying twinge type pains in the middle of my lower stomach. I'm trying not to feel hopeful but it's so difficult.

Twinges just my imagination

I had terrible twinges on both sides of my lower tummy yesterday. Ovulation pain? Both sides (could happen with Clomid). Probably nothing. I'm feeling so pessimistic about it all. Clomid probably doesn't even make me ovulate at all. Unbearable.

Getting it on

Apart from getting it on all the time, I don't like this project "having a baby". Why the heck didn't have to become a project. Why couldn't things just go smoothly? Next week a blood test to see whether I ovulated with Clomid. If yes, the week after then waiting whether periods will come or whether it's scary news...just start to dread another miscarriage. Isn't pregnancy suppose to be happy time? Bollocks to that. Some might say, I'm bit frustrated and angry...some might be right.