What does it take

Firstly, if you look at my other blog, you might frown and think:" Good that she is not having a kid. She doesn't look like very responsible person with all the rock thing going on". Well, you are wrong. My taste in music and style has nothing to do with my ability to b a good mum and responsible parent. Even from work point of view, I'm responsible for human lives, so that about my ability.

Then a little bit of background:
The last year has been nothing but heartache. After trying and not succeeding to get pregnant, I was diagnosed with polycistic ovaries last November. I always knew something was wrong: my periods didn't start until I was 15 and 90 days cycle wasn't anything to brag about. Despite of knowing, everything was not right, it was a bit of a shock when I was diagnosed. My own doctor was extremely vague how PCOS would affect my ability to have children.

I managed eventually get Metfomin from my doctor, try to regulate my periods (ovulation actually). For my (and my husband's) surprise, after 3 days of funny stomach ache, I did a positive pregnancy test in April. We were over the moon. Due to irregular cycle I couldn't really say how many weeks I was, but calculating when we had last...well tried to have a baby, I was 5 weeks. Dr's wanted a scan straight away to confirm the due date.

According to my calculation, I was between 6-7 weeks on the first scan. The scan didn't show anything apart from the sack. New appointment was made for weeks time. We were heart broken. In the next scan I saw a little bean and a flickering fetal pole (which, would be heart and I was told I was 6 weeks. According to my calculation I was 7 weeks. Sigh of relief that baby seemed ok in the scan. Then again I had my doubts as the weeks didn't match.

At 10 weeks I started to have discharge and went for an ultrasound. Extremely bad news: heart beat was nowhere to be found and the baby hadn't grown since week 7. I had d&c the next day (I'll be writing more about emotional coping).

We were told to wait one cycle before trying again, but we are rebels. Just 6 weeks after first miscarriage, I was pregnant again. Surely, this one would be fine. At 6 weeks I started to have discharge. Went for a scan, it was fine. Discharge got heavier and 7 week scan the baby had died. Another d&c and being emotional wreck.

So this is the situation at the moment. I've been to a first appointment to fertility specialist as I've been trying a baby for 2 years, have dodgy ovaries and have lost two babies...
And how was your year?