Red sea

Periods started. I'm kind of bummed. In a way it's nice that my cycle is getting bit more regular but then again, I'm not pregnant. It was really just pure luck that I got pregnant twice.

I'm dreading the appointment with fertility consultant in December. It's nice to know what's going on but then...what's going to happen after that. Trying to have a baby is so emotionally exhausting, that I don't think I can deal with it. I might need a holiday from it soon.

I just stop every now and again to think, how did I end up to this point. Why did I ever started to think that it would be nice to have a child with my husband. It would be so much easier, if I wouldn't want to have a baby. So much easier.